With or without you
by Candylovin Fehrian
Summary: Will Syd discover how much Gage means to her, before it's too late? This is an SG fic. Please R&R!
1. The beginning

The smell of blood filled the air. Sydney's ears still rung from the loud shots which were heard. She was afraid to move past the door, almost as if she knew what she would find there.

With slow steps she entered the dark, stale room. It was only illuminated by the small ray of light coming through a few cracks in the walls.

Carefully putting down her injured leg, she moved closer to the limp figure in the middle of the cell. Meanwhile her thoughts went back to how she came to this place…

flasback 

"Ahh, come on Syd, just these forms?" Gage whined, holding some papers in front of Sydney's face.

"No way partner," she replied, "I already have some of my own."

She pointed to the growing pile on her desk.

"Okay, you win, I'll do them myself," he grunted.

Alex was watching them with a growing smile on her lips. Walking into Walkers office she was still smiling.

"What are you so happy about?" her husband asked her.

"I've just had a small revelation," she admitted. Walker got a knowing look on his face.

"It wouldn't be about two certain Texas Rangers, would it?"

"Wh.. you already know they are in love?" She was baffled, how could he know?

"Well it's pretty obvious don't you think? They kind of remind me of someone…"

Alex started to laugh, "Oh god, I don't hope it will take that long with them!" she said between laughs.

"Nah," Walker said, "I think they are almost ready for it..."

What Walker didn't know was, that they already were ready. Gage and Sydney had been on a few dates, but decided they didn't want anyone to know. So in the office they were the same old partners, but during the evenings they have had several diners and movies, and even spent the night with each other. But they decided to tell everyone when they were ready. Little did they know, they would be forced to tell very soon, and the reason for that was… Sydney.

Gage was working through his load of paperwork, but also keeping an eye on Sydney. She just wasn't herself today. Suddenly she jumped up and ran towards the bathroom. Gage got up to go after her but Alex, who was coming out of Walkers office, gave him a look and went after her into the ladies room. Coming in, she could hear the sounds coming from one of the bathrooms. Two minutes later Sydney came out, she was crying.

"Syd, oh honey, are you okay?" Alex asked, feeling worried about her friend.

"Oh Alex, what am I gonna do?" she asked between sobs.

"What do you mean?"

And suddenly it dawned on her, the nausea Sydney was having, the weird food she was eating. She had been there herself, when she was pregnant with Angela…

"Syd, you're not… You're pregnant?"

"Yeah Alex, I think I am… I didn't do a test yet, but I'm so scared, how am I going to tell him?"

She was still sobbing. Alex had never seen her precious friend so upset.

"Sydney, I hate to ask this, but whose is it?" Alex asked, hoping she wasn't being rude.

Syd only gave her a look, and Alex' mouth dropped. It couldn't be…

She only said one word, "Gage?"

When she received a nod from Sydney, who was now looking at the ground, she flung her arms around the petite ranger.

"Oh honey, it's going to be okay, it will be alright, you'll see."

"This wasn't supposed to happen! I mean, I love him, but I'm not ready for a child yet Alex."

"And what does Gage think about this? He wouldn't be mad Syd, you know how much he loves children."

"I know, but we were just dating, it's just to soon."

Alex felt like she had been hit, "You're not gonna have an abortion, are you?" she asked with a shaky voice.

"No!" It came out so forceful, Alex almost had to smile. This baby would be loved by both its parents.

"Now come on, and let's get back in there, we'll make an appointment with the doctor to see if it's true."

"Thank you so much Alex, you're a really good friend."

"Hey what are friends for? But I do want you to tell Gage about this, soon."

Sydney sighed, "I know, maybe I'll tell him tonight."

And with that the two women left the bathroom, straight into the worried face of Francis Gage…

"Syd, what's going on? You look like you're going to be sick, are you alright, maybe you should go see a doctor?"

"Gage, I'm fine, and I already have an appointment scheduled, so just leave me alone."

And with that said, she left the office with Alex, leaving behind a stunned Gage.

Three days later

Sydney was sitting on her couch, curled up under a blanket. She didn't want to face the outside world. Facing that, would mean speaking to Gage and telling him about her pregnancy. Three days ago her doctor had confirmed her suspicions. And she hadn't talked to anyone since. Not that they hadn't tried, Alex had called four times, and even Erica had called her twice. She couldn't even count the times Gage had called, but she just couldn't face him. When he came to her apartment, she hadn't opened the door, instead she had laid on the couch crying her eyes out, hoping he would just go away. And he had, although it took him a half hour to get the message and left.

She knew she couldn't avoid them forever, she had to face them, and she had to start with Gage.

Little did she know that Gage had thrown himself in a dangerous assignment.


	2. Now what?

Walkers office

"You don't have to do this Gage," Walker said, trying to convince the young ranger not to take this assignment.

"Yes I do," Gage sighed, "look Walker, obviously Syd needs some time, and by doing this, I'm giving it to her."

"But you know it could be dangerous?"

"I can handle it."

And with that said Gage left for the undercoverassignment of his life. Walker still wasn't sure this was the best way to solve this one, but decided to keep an eye on Gage. Alex had told him about Sydney's condition, so he knew the two needed to talk before Gage left. So Walker decided to intervene and talked Gage into dinner at the ranch. Only what he hadn't told him was that Sydney would be there too. It was going to be an interesting evening...

Walkers Ranch

"I would really like you to think this through Gage", Alex said, while putting plates on the table.

"It's allright Alex, I know something is going on with Syd, but if she needs some time, the best way to give it to her, is by taking this assignment." Gage sighed. He didn't like it either, but for Syd, he would walk through fire.

Alex was trying as hard as she could, but she knew if he put his mind to something, you couldn't even beat it out of him. So she tried the subtle approach.

"But Gage, if you know there is something wrong, why not just talk to her?"

"Don't you think I haven't tried that already? She won't talk to me, or anyone else for that matter", he replied with a gruff voice. Immediately after, with a softer voice, " I'm sorry Alex, I shouldn't take this out on you, I just keep trying to figure out how this all happened, one minute we were happy and dating, and the next she closes of from me and all of her friends", looking up at Alex and Walker, something dawned on him, "she didn't happen to have said anything to you, would she?"

Alex looked at Walker, who was conveniently looking the other way. But Gage wasn't, he saw the way Alex's face changed at the mention of what Syd told her.

"You know something!" he almost yelled, feeling angry and hurt that they knew all along, but didn't want to tell him.

Alex felt bad, she was supposed to keep her friends' situation a secret, but wasn't very good at hiding it. She knew Sydney was about to arrive soon, so she decided to keep her mouth shut, before Gage would find out more about Syds pregnancy.

Gage was about to interrogate her, when the bell rang and both Walker and Alex made a run for it, glad to have an escape.

Sydney knew she had made a mistake, when both Walker and Alex opened the door, looking relieved to see her. She was nervous, almost 3 months along and she didn't even have the nerve to tell Gage. And now he was probably here, angry with er for not calling or talking to him. She had known Alex would set something like this up, but still, she had come. Knowing fully well she would see him again. And to be honest with herself, she wanted to see him, smell him, feel him...

"Ehh, Syd?" Alex asked, with a smile on her face. She had seen Syd was miles away, and was happy about it. 'Things could work out for them', she thought.

"So", Syd said, deciding to play along, "I see I'm not the only guest tonight?"

Seeing Walker looking that uncomfortable, and Alex blushing bright red, was worth it.

"Well... You see, yes we have another guest."

"Great, who is it?" Syd asked, a smile forming on her face, after looking at her friends.

This time Walker decided to take the leed, and just get it over with, " Well you see, Gage is here too. And we thought it would be a good idea to invite you too, because it will be the last time we could see him, before he goes undercover."

After this flow of words, Syd felt like being punched in the gut. 'He is going undercover, he is leaving, what if something happens to him?'

Thoughts were running through her head a mile a minute. But one thought was louder than all the other thoughts: 'I have to see him, he has to know!'

Deciding not to waiste anymore time, she barged in the house, calling his name.

"Gage?"

After hearing her voice, he knew he was set up. But instead of being mad, he felt absolutely relieved. He would see her again, and he could ask her what the hell was going on with her.

Deciding to follow her voice, he walked through the hallway almost bumping into someone. Wait a minute, not someone, it was Syd.

And there they stood, staring at eachother. The silence was broken by a slight cough from Walker.

"We'll be in the kitchen, take your time..."


	3. Can we do it?

_Wow, thanks for the great reviews! It keeps me writing, and I love writing this story, so I will finish it soon. _

"I-"

"Why-" they both started at the same time.

"You start", Gage said.

Although he was a little shocked to see her here, he was relieved to see her again. Even though she didn't look too well, she was pale and looked like she hadn't had a good night sleep for weeks.

Sydney decided to just take the plunge and tell him.

"Gage, I'm really sorry I avoided you like I did, it's just that... I'm scared."

Gage gave her a confused look.

"Scared? Syd, what's going on, is someone threatening you, is that it?" he asked, muscles already tensing at the thought of someone hurting her.

"No, it's nothing like that. Gage, I... I'm... p-"

"Oh, no, you're sick aren't you? I knew it, you were so pale, and always going to the bathroom. What is it, can they cure it? Are you... are you going to..."

Syd watched him go in full panic mode in a matter of seconds and decided to cut him off, before he went any further.

"Gage, stop it! I'm not sick, I'm pregnant!" she yelled, trying to get him to listen to her. And it worked. The minute the words left her mouth, she knew the words registered in his brain. Cause his eyes were now as big as saucers and his mouth hung open as an impression of a fish.

The silence was deafening while she waited for him to react to her news. And then he did the one thing she hadn't expected him to do, he turned around and left the house.

Tears filled her eyes and when Alex saw Gage going out the front door and sit on the porch, she knew Syd had told him.

Walking in the room, she found Sydney slouched against the wall, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Oh sweetie, what happened?" she asked.

"He ran." was the only thing she could utter.

"No honey, he's outside just getting some air. You probably shocked him a little by blurting it out like that" Alex said with a small smile.

"You heard?" Sydney asked.

"Well I think the whole neighbourhood heard" Alex added seriously.

Sydney had to chuckle at that.

"Well I guess I'd better go and explain it to him", she said while getting up. Alex watched her go, smiling to herself. Things would be alright between those two.

Outside

Sydney silently approached Gage, who was now sitting on the porch swing. She jumped a little when she heard his small voice. She had never heared him talk that softly.

"So that's why you avoided me?"

"Yeah, I was just so scared. I didn't know what to do."

"I know what you mean", Gage said while turning to look at her. Sydney couldn't help but gasp a little. He looked absolutely terrified.

"Do you think we can really do this?" he asked her, as if she would have the answers to all of his questions.

"I-I don't know, but I think you would be a great dad", she said with all the earnesty she had. That earned her a small smile.

"Then I think we owe it to this little one to try it", he added while getting up. He walked over to where she stood. Looking in eachothers eyes they saw fear, but there was also something else. There was love and the trust that they had it in them to do this. Their lips met in such a soft kiss, it took her breath away...

Breaking the kiss, Sydney suddenly took a step backwards.

"Your assignment! You're not going to do it now, right?" she asked him with pleading eyes.

"Syd, I can't turn it down now, I start tomorrow." Gage replied with a said voice. He didn't want to leave either now he knew Syd was carying his child, but he knew what his responsabilities were.

"Fine, but I'm going with you", she stated, already making up her mind.

"Syd, you know you can't do that now that you're pregnant, you have to be careful," he shot a glance at her, finding it strange she hadn't blown up right there and then, but he continued, " and besides, it's only for 2 weeks. I'll be back before you know it."

He knew it wasn't helping a lot, but he was determined not to let her tag along.

"Gage..."

Her voice was dangerously low. "I know, you're though and you can take anything, I'm just saying I don't want you on the inside. I haven't mentioned anything about not being my contact", he added with a misschivous grin. Sydney had to smile at that. With al those things resolved they went inside to enjoy one last dinner before the assignment.

And so it was decided. Gage was going undercover the next morning with Sydney and Walker as his outside contacts. He didn't know this would be the undercover assignment of a lifetime...


	4. Busted

One week later

Everything was going good, well as good as can be expected. Sydney was so anxious she could hardly eat. But she was counting the days until this would all be over.

Gage was doing his job as cop gone bad in a drug smuggling gang. He kept in contact every two days and was also looking forward to the end of this mission. So everything was going as planned.

Until the 9th day...

_Somewhere in Dallas_

"Yo Johnny! Mr Anderson wants to see you."

"Don't want to keep him waiting", Gage muttered under his breath. Today had been a hard day. While delivering an unknown package to a highly rated druglord Gage had almost ran in to one of his old contacts, but had managed to avoid him. Or so he thought.

Knocking on the door of mr. Anderson he felt a little uncomfortable. He had a nagging feeling in his stomach, something was wrong.

"Come in."

With tense muscles Gage carefully entered the cold office.

"Well hello Johnny."

"What's up mr. Anderson", Gage asked taking on a gruff voice.

"Johnny, I got some disturbing news today", he said while secretly pushing on a button underneath his desk. Gage started to feel really uncomfortable, and began to look for a way out of this, before it went ugly. But it was already to late, because the door suddenly opened, revealing 3 burly looking guys. And while two of them grabbed Gage from behind, the other slammed a needle in his neck. Gage obviously tried to defend himself, delivering a kick to one of the guys holding him, but suddenly found his limbs too heavy to move. He looked up at Anderson after sagging down on the floor.

"Seems like someone has been infiltrating in my organisation, someone by the name of Ranger Francis Gage. You don't happen to know anyone with that name, do you 'Johnny'?" he said with a menacing tone in his voice.

Through blurry thoughts Gage decided to deny everything.

"No", he said, feeling as if he spoke through a mouth full of marbles.

"Well, then maybe you know Stan Harding?" he asked, while opening another door, which revealed the beaten form of Gage's former contact. Stan looked like they used him for a punching bag, and you could see his was afraid.

"I-I'm sorry ranger Gage", he said while turning to Anderson, "Yes that's him."

"Why, thank you for you cooperation mr. Harding."

He gave a nod to the third guard. "Dispose him."

With one swift move the guard took Stans neck and snapped it.

Gage flinched at the sight of this brute violence, knowing fully well that he would be next. Although he knew they would come, the next words Anderson spoke chilled him to the bone.

"Take him out. But do it slow, I want him to suffer..."

And with that, he came around his desk, walked over to Gage and with two swift kicks to his head, sent him into oblivion...


	5. The 10th day

_Thanks for the great reviews! To be honest, I'm not really sure if this will be a Tearjerker or not, so please send me your opinion, I can use it!_

_Texas Rangers Headquarters_

Sydney had just stepped out of the bathroom, her morning sickness had expanded itself to the afternoon and the evening.

"Walker, has he called in yet?" she asked, already seeing the answer in his eyes.

It was the 10th day and Gage hadn't checked in yet.

"No, but he still has time", Walker responded.

Sydny nodded.

"It's just that I've been having abad feeling about it all day", she explained.

"We'll just have to wait and see. If he hasn't called in by 11, we go in, okay?"

He hoped he'd reassured her with that, cause truth be told, he had been having that feeling too. And he knew that if Gage didn't check in before 10 he would have a crew ready by 11.

2 Hours later...

It was now 9.55 and Sydny was frantic. She tried not to let it show, and hold up the cool facade, but she knew something went wrong. After rummaging through some of the papers on her desk she couldn't take it any longer and went over to Walker, who was on the phone. She heard his last words, "We'll be there."

Suddenly she didn't have the nerve to face him. What if they had found Gage, hurt, or worse... dead. She didn't want to know. But the choice was taken from her by Walker.

"I have a team ready, are you coming?"

She gave him a small smile, and answered, "Are you actually going to let me come with you? Gage'll be so mad, if he finds out..." she stopped herself. 'You don't even know if he's alive', a little voice in her head said. Walker smiled at her, "I know he'll be mad, but hey, I can take him." he joked. Sydney silently thanked him for his optimism, allthough she had the feeling things didn't look so bright right now.

But, she put on her ranger face, grabbed her gun and went with Walker to his truck, so they could join the team, and hopefully find Gage, in one piece...

_A warehouse in Dallas_

A blinding white pain in his head was the very first thing Gage was aware of. The second thing he noticed, was that his hands were now bound to the ceiling, keeping him upright. A low moan escaped his dry and cracked lips. 'Easy now Gage', he thought to himself, ' Just, slowly open your eyes...'

Doing as he told himself, he almost regretted it. A piercing pain flashed through his skull as he opened his eyes to fast. The second try went better. He was now able to lift his head a little to explore his surroundings. By the looks of it, he was somewhere in a basement, because it was a cold and stale room. There were a few chairs standing on the other side, but Gage couldn't see it very well. The room, or rather his cell, was almost as dark as night. The only light came from a few cracks in the wall on the other side. 'Must have been a window once', Gage pondered.

Slowly he tried to move his aching body a little, which only caused him more stabs of pain, now throughout his whole body. Obviously, they had used him for a punching bag. As he tried to move his shoulders a bit, he heard the sickening sound of bone grinding against bone. He wondered how many ribs were broken, and how many would be broken if he didn't get out of here soon.

His thoughts were cut off by a sound from the door. The heavy door slowly opened, sounding like it came straight out of an old horrormovie. Gage squinted against the light, which revealed to large shadows. He decided to show them he was still in control, although his voice was soft and weak when he used it, "Who are you? I didn't do anything wrong, I don't even know this Ranger Gage..."

He still couldn't see who was coming in, but as the two shadows stepped out of the door way, entering the room, he raised his head and felt his heart drop...


	6. In the warehouse now

The two shadows took the form of two of the burly guards he had seen earlier that day. Or had it been longer? He realised he didn't even know how long he had been here. They could already be looking for him...

'Please Syd, be careful,' he thought.

His 'punishers', as he had called them in his mind, came closer, revealing what they carried with them. A crowbar and brass knuckles were loosely held in their hands. Gage tried to steel himself against what was coming. But when the first blow came, he had to bite his lip not to scream out. And as they rained blow by blow on him the resolve not to scream broke and his cries could be heard in the entire building.

After a long while blissful darkness came which he invited, because it meant he would see her beautiful face, and forget about the pain.

'Sydney...'

_Walker RAM_

Sydney gave a small gasp, while clutching her stomach. Walker immediately turned to her from his place behind the wheel.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a concerned voice.

"Yeah," Syd replied while straightening on her seat, " Just a few cramps, nothing serious. I guess my morning sickness likes the evenings too." She smiled a small smile.

They had been searching for Gage for two days now, and they hadn't found any leads, except for mr. Anderson. But somehow he managed to be one step ahead, each time they were close to him. This afternoon they had finally found a clue. In one of the buildings Anderson did his dealing, they had found a body. A body which Syd recognized as one of her and Gage's old contacts, Stan Harding. The theory they had now was that somehow Gage had bumped in to this old contact, who somehow caused him to be found out. There had been a few people in the neighbourhood who had seen a van speed out of there, heading for the West side of the city. So now they were searching all of Andersons property on the West-side of the city. It was already pretty dark, but Trivette had called them to say that there was one warehouse left in that part, so they decided to investigate that one, and pray that it was the one where they would find Gage, alive.

"Have you seen any movement yet?" Sydney asked Walker, while searching the area from her place in the car.

"No, but I think I have now," Walker whispered, "Stay low."

They saw four men enter the building, one of them being the infamous mr. Anderson.

Sydney jumped up, "Let's go!" she said, but Walker put a hand over her arm.

"We should wait for Trivette and the others" he replied.

Sydney looked at him with pleading eyes, "Walker, if it was Alex, would you wait?" she asked with a strong tone in her voice.

Walker took in her determined looking face, and knew that if he didn't go with her, she would definitely go in alone.

"Alright, but we are only going to take a look, and see if he's in there."

Sydney nodded, "Let's go." she said while slowly getting out of the car.

They slowly entered the warehouse, Walker taking the upper floors and Sydney taking the ground floor and what seemed to be the basement. She had almost covered the entire ground floor, when she heard voices.

"I want you to finish it tonight."

"If he isn't dead already, Jimmy here really went at it," a male voice said in a laughing tone.

Sydney could feel her blood beginning to boil. 'He is here!' was her following thought. She peeked out from behind the crates where she was standing. There were three men standing there, she wondered where the fourth was when she saw the men leaving the room. Knowing that they were going to wherever Gage was, to finish it, she decided to follow them.

Meanwhile Walker had found the fourth man, and was having a little trouble handling him. It was a heavy guy, but he was also really fast. So while Walker was fighting, Sydney followed the other three to where they were going.

When she caught up with them, they were standing in front of a heavy looking door. 'Wait a minute, there were three... Where is that Jimmy guy?' Her thoughts were ended by a gun which was pointed at her head.

"Now miss, get up real slow," the man said.

"Well, you must be Jimmy," she said, while taking in the situation. The chances were bad, three against one, and she didn't know where Walker was. But she decided to take the chance and spun around so fast 'Jimmy' didn't have time to react when she slammed her fist in his face. But her luck didn't last long. The other guy had jumped in, grabbing her from behind. She reacted quickly, but couldn't avoid a few punches, before throwing her leg up, hitting the guy's head.

Mr. Anderson just stood there and watched while two of his men were being beaten by a lady, a pretty good looking lady, to be honest. Although his men were good and got in a few punches they still ended on the ground, knocked out.

He decided to put an end to this ridiculous situation. Grabbing his gun he took a shot, to show that woman who was in control here.

Sydney had just knocked out the second guy, and was turning towards their leader, when she heard a shot and felt a searing pain. She felt like everything went in slow motion, her turning around, the smoke which bellowed from the gun, the smug look on Andersons face. And her, sagging to the ground.


	7. Back to the beginning

_A/N.. I know it's short, but I just had to separate these two chapters. I just loooove the suspense... ;-) And don't worry, I figured out if it's going to be a tissue story or not... _

Two loud gunshots echoed through the building while Sydney groggily opened her eyes. Almost immediately her leg felt like it was on fire. Looking around to get her bearings, she suddenly remembered what happened. She had knocked those two guys out, but... The other one, Anderson, he had shot her. As soon as the thought passed through her head, her leg proved it when hot stabs of pain went through it. Slowly coming to her feet, careful not to put any weight on her injured limb, she looked around. The two guys were still knocked out, but the other was gone. 'The gunshots!' Where had they come from? And as soon as she figured it out, the one who had fired them came out of the room with the metal door.

All of a sudden, everything clicked and Sydney felt overwhelmed with grief. Gage was in there... He- he had shot...

And then she lost it. It was like a black shroud was pulled over her eyes and she was acting on auto-pilot. Her gun was in her hands, and with one last look at the murdering bastard she aimed and fired. And kept firing... She kept firing the gun until she ran out of bullets, and even then she kept pulling the trigger.

Anderson had been surprised when he saw her and the shocked look was still on his face when he bonelessely fell to the ground.

_Meanwhile..._

Walker had finally managed to subdue the fourth guy when he heard the gunshots.

He took of on a run, knowing Sydney was in trouble. When he reached the ground floor he suddenly slammed into someone. Pulling his arm back to knock the guy out, his tense muscles relaxed when he saw who it was.

"Trivette"

"Yeah, so," Trivette said while looking at Walkers clenched fist, ready to strike, " happy to see me right?"

"We have to get down, Sydney's in trouble." Walker said, not wanting to waist any more time. The both started to run towards the basement.

_The basement_

Sydney released her gun and let it fall to the ground. She felt like she was in a daze. 'What if he really is in there?' She almost turned to get Walker first but decided to be strong as she turned towards the heavy metal door. She just had to know if he was in there...

_END FLASHBACK..._

The small whimpering sound brought her back to the present. That could be her partner lying there!

Limping as fast as she could she had almost reached the figure. She was now close enough to recognise the battered body.

"Oh God…"


	8. Holding on

Her hand immediately went to her slightly swollen belly.

"Gage?" she whispered, choking back a sob.

Slowly she put her hand on his neck, trying to feel a pulse.

"Okay Syd, concentrate" she said to herself, willing her mind and body to calm down. Her raven black hair stuck to her damp skin, while she hurriedly swiped it back. It was there, but barely.

"O Gage, I'm so sorry," she whimpered, letting a few tears leak through her long lashes.

Suddenly Gage stirred a little, a low moan could be heard coming from the man covered in his own blood.

"S-syd?" was all he could say before coughing.

"Yeah honey, I'm here, I'll always be here, I'm with you."

His beautiful blue eyes, now full of pain, turned up to her.

"The baby?"

"She's fine, shh. It will be alright. Walker is on his way. Just hold on" she pleaded.

"Hurts" came his reply. His voice was so full of pain, Sydney thought her heart would break at the sound of it.

"Just hang on baby, please hang on, for us…"

She saw how hard it was for him to hold on and keep his eyes open.

"S-sorry…" Gage whispered, already losing strength from his voice. Tears were streaming down her face, while her partner was slowly bleeding to death on this cold and filthy floor.

"No Gage, you hang on, that's an order partner!" she said with a stern voice, hoping to bring her love back to her. Gage's eyelids fluttered a little, his hand slowly reaching for her smaller one. Holding on for dear life, as she sat with him.

And that was how Walker and Trivette found the couple.

Trivette flinched at the sight of their beloved friends. Gage looked awful, bruises and cuts everywhere and so much blood… Probably coming from gunshot wounds.

Sydney looked like she could fall down from exhaustion any second. Her face showed a few bruises and her leg was bleeding profoundly.

They knew they had to hurry and get both of them out of there.

"Sydney, we have to get him out of here, the paramedics are outside," Walker said.

But Sydney didn't hear it, she was in her own world, giving her partner the strength to hang on.

"Come on Trivette, let's get them out of here," he said, springing in to action.

At that moment paramedics entered the room with a gurney. Walker and Trivette slowly walked over to the place on the floor where their friends were still clinging to each other. Walker slowly placed one hand on Sydney's shoulder, breaking her out of her catatonic state. She kept holding Gage's hand while looking up at the two rangers with a questioning look on her face.

"They are going to take care of him now Syd, it's okay, you can let go," Walker softly spoke to her. With a slow nod, Sydney turned her eyes on Gage, who was now being treated by the paramedics.

"Ma'am, you have to let go now, we have to take him to the hospital, now…" one of the men said.

And while silent tears were streaming down her face, Sydney slowly let her hand slip out of Gage's motionless one.

The paramedics immediately took him away, leaving two Texas rangers standing in the darkened room. Sydney was still sitting on the cold floor, staring into space, when Walker and Trivette turned their attention to her.

"Come on Syd, you need to be checked, you're bleeding." Trivette said, while carefully lifting Sydney off the floor.

Putting down her injured leg, a screaming pain tore through it, and she felt all her strength leaving her. Knowing there wasn't anything she could do for Gage right now, she gave in to temptation and welcomed the dark blanket, which was descending over her.

Walker easily caught the petite ranger when she passed out and together the two men carried her over to the waiting ambulance, praying their friends would survive this ordeal so they could be there for each other…


	9. Answers

_**- A/N I love reviews! Especially the ones I am getting right now, thank you so much! The song I used in this one is ' Holdin' on ' by Clint Black and Martina McBride, enjoy! -**_

_St. Matthews hospital_

Sydney was slowly waking up, feeling like she was under water, but she was working her way to the surface. Opening one eye she was expecting to see the cold and dark cell. But she was greeted by white walls, a soft bed and the warm face of Alex Cahill-Walker. She smiled a little, and suddenly all the events came back to her and her expression changed to one of pure terror. Alex saw what happened, and tried to calm the anxious ranger.

"Sydney, it's okay, you're safe now. You're in the hospital."

Sydney shook her head, trying to clear out the final effects of the anaesthesia. Turning frightened eyes at Alex, "The baby?"

Ales softly patted her hand, "Honey, the baby is fine. You only have a few bruises and a flesh wound from the bullet."

Sydney relaxed a little, but she knew the hardest question was yet to come. Tears were forming in her eyes, and Alex knew what was coming. She steeled herself for everything she had to tell her friend…

"Alex? How is he? Please tell me he is still alive" she asked, the knot in her stomach growing with every second. She knew it was bad, he had been so weak. But a small part of her heart knew he was still alive, although she didn't know for how long.

Alex saw the turmoil she was in and decided to just tell her what had happened while she was unconscious.

"Well, to be honest, it doesn't look good."

Sydney gasped, but kept quiet, so Alex started to list the numerous injuries the doctors had described to her and the others.

"He was shot twice at close range, once in his chest where it punctured his left lung, the other bullet entered his side and got stuck very close to his spine. They haven't been able to remove it yet, because he's not stable enough."

Sydney was silently listening to Alex, with tears slowly making their way down her face. But Alex wasn't done…

"By the looks of it, he was severely beaten. There were 4 broken ribs and he had several internal injuries. A broken leg, a dislocated shoulder and…" Alex almost couldn't go on. She wished she had better news, but her friend deserved to know the truth. "Syd, he has a skull fracture. All those injuries combined… They are not expecting him to wake up." There she had said it. Looking at the woman in the hospital bed, she felt tears starting to flow. Sydney had a disbelieving look in her eyes. She started shaking her head.

"No, no, no… He wouldn't leave me, he promised." Her voice wavered and she turned to Alex. Alex could almost feel the emotions coming from the petite ranger. Fear, desperation and grief were clearly visible in the younger woman's eyes. Not able to take it any longer she reached over and took Sydney in her arms. After a few minutes she visibly relaxed a little, but she kept whispering in a now hoarse voice, "he promised, he promised…"

Pulling back from the comforting embrace Sydney swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

"Honey, what are you doing?" Alex was worried, she had never seen Sydney like this. She looked sad and her eyes were red from crying, but her jaw was locked in a determined way.

Standing on wobbly feet, she put one hand against the wall, holding herself up.

"I have to see him Alex. Maybe he'll.. Maybe he'll wake up."

Alex' heart went out to the woman holding herself up for the love of her life. She decided it couldn't hurt, it probably would do her good to see he was still holding on. So the two woman slowly walked through the halls of the hospital. Reaching ICU they saw the two other members of their group.

Looking up, Walker saw the two woman coming over to them. Sydney slowly shuffled towards them with a questioning look on her face, Alex following close behind.

"How is he?"

Walker cleared his throat, " No change, he's still in a coma."

Sydney swallowed hard, before turning towards the room she suspected was Gage's.

Turning the knob, she almost lost her nerve. But she had to be there for him. Just like he had done for her. So she opened the door, only to be greeted by a sight she wished she never had to see again.

The father of her child, her partner, was lying in the hospital bed, surrounded by machines, with tubes going everywhere. There was an oxygen machine to help him breath, bandages on his face and torso and the constant beeping, telling her that he was still holding on.

_ We can't deny that this one's out of our control,  
Stronger than the both of us and bound to take its toll.  
I can stand the test of time  
And as far as I can see there are no walls that we can't climb  
Standing between you and me  
_

_But I'll go on with my life  
We can even say goodbye for now  
If that's what we have to do.  
Here in my heart even when my arms are empty  
Darlin, I'm still holdin on to you._

_  
There's a place you'll always be  
No matter where you are you're here with me  
When the world is turning upside down  
Together we can stand our ground.  
We can even say goodbye for now  
If that's what we have to do_

_Here in my heart even when my arms are empty  
_

_Darlin I'm still holdin on to you.  
I'm still holdin' on to you _

When she finally reached his bed, she sat down while she took his large, but motionless hand in her smaller one. Looking at his peaceful face, she felt her heart sinking to her stomach, almost thinking he was already gone. But the beeping continued, and Sydney finally gave in to all the emotions she was feeling, by the only way she knew. She laid her head next to their intertwined hands and cried…


	10. Waking up is a hard thing to do

When Alex, Walker and Trivette slowly entered the dimly lit hospital room. Sydney was in the same position, having fallen asleep next to the still form of her partner.

Alex turned sad eyes to Walker, "We should wake her, this can't be good for the baby," she whispered.

"She wouldn't leave this room even if we ordered her," Trivette remarked.

Walker nodded slightly, "We'll bring her food, and take care of her, but she needs to be with him now. They will need each other," he said while softly turning towards the door.

The others followed him. Alex, being the last one, took one last look at two people who seemed to be resting peacefully. But she knew better, one of them was fighting for his life, and the other was along side of him, fighting for the very same thing…

She turned her eyes skywards and sent another prayer to the heavens above, 'Please let them be okay,' before leaving the room and shutting the door.

_One week later…_

"You should have seen her Gage, she's so tiny. And she's healthy, that's the most important thing. Now we have to get you back, and we can be a family, like we wanted."

Sydney paused as she sat next to Gage, knees pulled op in the comfortable chair the nurses had brought in for her. She had been there the entire week, talking to him, sitting with him, or just sleeping. This morning she had made her first sonogram. The baby, she didn't know why, but she kept calling it a she, although she didn't know if it was a boy or a girl yet, was beautiful and most important, healthy.

She didn't know if Gage could hear her ramblings, but she was afraid to stop speaking or to leave, fearing he would let go if she gave him the chance. Until now, he was doing just that, holding on. And although the doctors said the chance he woke up was minimal, she couldn't give up on him. So she sat there and talked…

"Alex almost cried when she saw the sonogram. She just looked so small, so beautiful… Angela has been here to visit you, she wanted to know why her uncle Gage was sleeping so much. So what do you think, isn't it time to wake up? Isn't it time to come back to us?" Sydney choked back a sob.

She quickly wiped her eyes and stood up to go over to the window. Stretching all the kinks out of her back she stared at the parking lot where people were walking with children, balloons clutched in their hands, happy smiles on their faces.

Captured by the beautiful smile of a little girl with a bandage across her arm, she almost didn't hear the small sound coming from within the room. A little annoyed by the distraction, Sydney turned around fast, expecting a nurse that had walked in. But there was no one there. So that meant…

"Gage?"

Her eyes were now focused at the troubled man in the hospital bed. His head was twitching slightly, and his eyes were fluttering a little. Sydney rushed towards the bed, putting her hand on his clammy forehead.

Fighting his way to the surface, Gage welcomed the cool hand on his painful skin. The panic which was rising within him, caused by the large pressure on his chest and the fact that something was in his throat, was slowly taken away by the loving touch. Suddenly a name came to him, and opening his eyes he looked in the face of the woman that name belonged to. The woman his heart belonged to.

Sydney kept stroking his forehead, whispering to him, " Shh, it's okay, calm down. You're safe now."

When his eyes opened, she could have cried for joy. They were a little glazed over, but she could see her beloved partner was in there.

"It'll be okay. I am going to get a doctor okay?" she whispered, almost afraid to speak aloud, fearing she would wake up from this dream. Gage nodded slightly, wincing in pain from the tube in his throat.

Sydney turned and went out to get a doctor. He went inside, telling her to wait outside while he examined Gage. After a few minutes the doctor came out,

"Ranger Cooke? Your partner is awake now, I took the tube out, but we'll have to examine him further later today, to see how the bullet is effecting his spine. You go and see him first."

"Thank you so much dr. Evans, I'll see you this afternoon," Sydney breathed, already turning to Gage's room. When she entered Gage was still lying in the same position, eyes closed and machines beeping.

"Gage?"

His eyes slowly opened, and with a raspy voice, scratchy from lack of use, he replied,

"Shorty?"

Sydney smiled, he would be okay…

"How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?" She felt a little awkward, knowing he had gone in to this assignment because of her, but she decided to put that behind her. She had to be there for him now.

Gage seemed in thought for a second before he answered.

"My chest hurts, but…" And all of a sudden he got a terrified look in his eyes while he turned to her and grabbed her hand in a vice like grip with his good hand.

"Syd?" his voice was soft and frightened, like that of a small child.

"I- I can't feel my legs… Syd? Why can't I feel my legs!"


	11. Blame

_**A/N Another chapter... I want you to know, I absolutely love writing this story. That's probably why I keep expanding it. So, prepare for a little more drama ( or a lot. I'm a sucker for drama...), but also for lots of love... **_

_**By the way, the song used in chapter 9 was 'Holdin on' by Martina McBride and Clint Black (See A/N of that chapter...) On to the story:**_

_St. Matthews hospital_

The slamming of the door from hospital room 285 got the attention of several people in the hallway. Dr. Evans, who had been standing at the nurses post, turned to see the dark haired female ranger turning frightened eyes towards him. While hurriedly walking to him, she already began to speak:

"Dr. Evans! Something's wrong. He can't feel his legs, please help us…"

"Calm down, Ranger Cooke. We will start with the examination of his spine immediately."

Sydney turned to follow him, but he stopped her, "You will have to wait here, I'm sorry…"

And with those words the doctor immediately went to check on Gage to start the tests.

_Three hours later…_

Sydney was pacing, well you couldn't call it pacing, it was more like limping. Walker and Alex, who had shown up about an hour ago after they got the disturbing call from Sydney, were sitting in the waiting room-chairs.

"Syd, please sit down, this isn't good for your leg, and not to mention the baby," Alex pleaded with the stubborn ranger.

Surprisingly, Sydney listened this time and plopped down on one of the vacant chairs. She let out an exasperated sigh.

"How come they are taking so long? What if something went wrong with the bullet and…"

Burying her face in her hands she choked back another one of the endless sobs.

"It's my fault, everything that's happened… It's my fault. I should have told him about the baby sooner. If he had known, he wouldn't have taken the assignment, and he wouldn't be paralysed now. It's my fault. It should have been me…"

Walker could tell she had been beating herself up about all of this, but he hadn't known it went this deep.

"Sydney Cooke," he said with a low voice, "I know you feel bad about what happened, but it is not your fault," he said, using a tone they didn't hear him use often.

Sydney's eyes widened, she had expected him to blame her, she blamed herself… Opening her mouth, Walker interrupted her:

"Did you shoot him? Did you pull the trigger?"

"No but…"

Walker went on, "Did you try to prevent all of this from happening?"

"Yes, but…"

"Did you almost get yourself killed, trying to rescue him?"

After that last question, Sydney crumbled and turned into the waiting arms of Alex.

"I know, but I can't change what I feel. And I feel so bad…"

She turned her teary face to Walker, a questioning look in her large brown eyes.

"What if I had come sooner, if I had just kept an eye on Anderson, he wouldn't have been able to shoot me, and I would have been there before…"

"But you weren't."

Both Walker and Sydney turned to the woman who had spoken. Alex looked at them with an apologizing look in her eyes before continuing.

"Sydney, there are so many 'what if's', you can't think about that. It happened, and it wasn't your fault. If you want to blame someone, blame Anderson and his gang. But all you have to think about now, is how you will support him through this. And we know you can do it. You did it when he went deaf, and you can do it again. With a little luck everything will be fine before this little one comes into this world," Alex finished, while putting her hand on Sydney's slightly swollen belly.

Sydney smiled at Alex' positive outlook on things and felt a little better. That is, until dr. Evans turned around the corner, with a grim look on his face.

All three stiffened a little before standing up and facing the doctor. Sydney braced herself, facing the doctor, no, facing her future…


	12. Is there Hope?

Exactly 43 minutes later Sydney had taken her place next to Gage's bed again. Her thoughts were moving a mile a minute. How were they going to handle this? What would happen with them raising their child? Would he be strong enough? Was he ready for this? Was she ready for all of this?

Looking over at his face, softened by sleep, she knew the answer to that question by heart. Yes, she would be there, even if he didn't want her to be. She knew he could be stubborn, but she also knew herself. And she was self aware enough to know that she could be too. Sure, there would be fights, and he would be in denial, as Dr. Evans had pointed out. But she knew him, and she had seen how strong he had been when he had lost his hearing. Together they would be able to beat this, and maybe… The doctor had said there was a small chance that he would be able to walk again, and knowing that the chance was there, she clung to it. Grasping it like a lifeline. And he would have to do that too, so he could walk again, and chase their child through the yard, or her to the bedroom…

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sigh coming from the sleeping form on the bed. The content features had disappeared from his face and were replaced by a dark frown while he was shaking his head.

"No, no, no, please, god no!"

Sydney gently put her hand on his bruised face, softly stroking the hair out of his face, and moving along his strong features she stroked the frown away. He seamed to calm down a little, but was still making soft whimpering sounds. And for a minute she felt herself being transported back to the dark cellar, where she had also stroked his face, with him whimpering softly to 'please make it stop'.

Shaking her head she took that thought and buried it deep inside of her. She had to be strong now, and not weakened by memories. That's what they were, memories. They were over, now the only thing she had to worry about was the future. Unknowingly she had stopped stroking Gage's forehead, and as if he felt this he started twisting and turning again. This time even more than before.

"I'll tell, I promise! I'll talk, no please nooo!"

With that the scream died from his lips and his eyes suddenly shot open, his breathing heavy and sweat forming on his face.

Sydney had to swallow the large lump which had formed in her throat, taking in his haunted appearance. Again she placed her hand against his body, keeping him from sitting upright, which she knew, would cause him great pains.

"Calm down, Gage. It's alright, you're safe. Just lay down, everything is fine."

She cringed at the tone of her voice. 'Everything is not fine' she said to herself, you're lying to him and he trusts you. While berating herself she didn't notice Gage's expression change. She only noticed it when he started speaking in a soft tone.

"Syd? It's not good isn't it?"

She felt tears sting in her eyes, while she looked up to look him directly in the eye. She couldn't find her voice, so she slowly shook her head.

Gage sighed, deep down inside he had known something was wrong, his legs felt like lead and he couldn't seem to move them. During the tests he hadn't been completely conscious, but he had seen the doctors face, which had scared him even more. Now he just needed Syd, she would know all the answers.

"Wh-…" he had to swallow hard before he was able to continue, "What's wrong, something's wrong with my legs isn't it?

Sydney braced herself for what was about to come, she put her feelings aside as best as she could and tried to remember what Dr. Evans had told them.

"You remember Anderson shot you right?"

Gage nodded.

"Dr. Evans said they were able to remove the bullet lodged in your chest. The other one was really close to your spine," she paused for a few seconds, gathering some courage to go on, "They couldn't take it out before, cause you were so weak… After you woke up, they tried to remove it, but there still are some fragments in there."

Gage was quietly listening to her, trying to catch each and every word she said.

"And because some of it is pressing on your spine, you can't feel your legs."

"So why don't they just get those fragments out?" Gage asked, thoroughly confused, the solution seemed so simple.

Sydney slowly shook her head, repeating what the doctor had told her, "It would be too dangerous, you could become paralysed for life, or you could loose feeling in other parts of your body."

She shuddered after finishing the last sentence.

Gage sighed, almost afraid to ask further questions.

"So, how long, before I can walk again?"

The question was so full of hope, Sydney wished she could just disappear, knowing she was the one who was going to hurt him now.

"Well… Ìf they get the splinters out, there's a 20 percent chance you will walk again." she finished, immediately searching his eyes to see if he could still grasp it all.

Gage didn't know how to react, as the news slowly sank in. He looked up in Syds eyes, searching for something to hang on to. And he found it there: Hope. He would cling to it, with all his power, and together they would beat this thing.

Through blurry eyes they each found a hand to hang on to, an anchor to keep them safe for the coming storms.


	13. The wind is picking up

_2 Weeks later_

"Damnit, I told you I can do it myself!"

Sydney heard him cursing at the poor nurse who was probably helping him into his wheelchair, from her place outside the hospital room. Taking a deep sigh and putting on her emotional armour, she entered the room. The sight that met her wasn't pretty, the nurse was now on the other side of the room, sheets were laying on the floor and Gage was half laying on the bed, half hanging out of it.

Sydney sighed and walked up to him, supporting his arm so he could slide in the chair. After sitting down he just grunted, and mumbled, "Told you I could do it myself", before turning his gaze on a place in the distance.

Sydney turned towards the nurse, "Thank you so much, I guess we are all ready to go then right?"

Today was the day Gage could finally go home. After spending two weeks flat on his back, or getting tested, he felt like he was going to lose his mind. The doctors had advised him to get surgery so they could take out the final fragments out of his back, but he was afraid. What if it didn't work out? What if he became paralysed for life? How would he take care of Sydney and their family?

Those doubts had constantly flown through his mind the past couple of weeks, and his mood had been affected by it. Unfortunately the people closest to him had to suffer the most. Trivette didn't come by that often anymore, especially after Gage's final outburst towards him.

Walker and Alex came by often, but their visits were short, mostly because Gage wasn't very chatty. He had spent his days gazing at the ceiling and worrying, or spending them in testing rooms, were his pain limit was tested to boundaries he never knew he had.

And whenever he came back from one of those excruciating hours, she had been there. Waiting for him in his room, most of the time nothing was said, she had just been there. However, they did fight. Well, he fought, and she just let him, not responding to his accusations.

"Time to blow this joint, partner!"

The joyful voice of Sydney brought him back to the present, but not the way she would have liked it. With a scowl on his face he turned his gaze to the front, replying "Yeah, let's just go okay?"

Sydney's smile faltered a little. Sighing softly she grabbed the handles of his wheelchair and manoeuvred him to the exit of the hospital.

_Gage's apartment _

Getting out of the car was a lot harder then it seemed to be, and when Gage finally managed to get into his chair, it was fair to say his mood was now below freezing. Luckily, his apartment building had an elevator, just big enough to fit in his wheelchair. When they came to the front door Sydney suddenly stopped pushing.

After a few seconds, Gage noticed he wasn't moving anymore, so he turned around to see what was wrong.

"What's wrong?" he asked, almost snorting to himself. He could answer that question by himself. Everything was wrong, his paralysis, their entire situation was wrong, and he knew he had to do something about it.

Sydney watched his expression, still seeing the haunted look in his eyes, which had been there for the past couple of weeks. She knew he wasn't handling this well, and she also knew he would push her away anytime now. So she decided to prevent this.

"Look Gage, I know you are having a hard time now, you have no idea how well I know. But we have to stick together, like we did when you lost your hearing and-"

"Lost my hearing! Syd, I lost feeling in my legs, how dare you compare those two to each other," he roared.

"Gage, I'm sor-"

"No," he replied, voice must softer now, "Just don't, I don't want to know how sorry you are. You know what? I'm sorry too. Sorry for involving you in this mess. You shouldn't have to worry so much, especially with the baby and all. Maybe it would be best if-"

This time it was Sydney who interrupted him, "No Gage. You can't shut me out now. You need me as much as I need you, and you know it. This child," she said while putting his hand on her belly, "she needs her daddy."

Gage's expression became even darker. "Yeah, she needs a daddy, not half a daddy," his voice dying out as the realisation hit him. Sydney turned teary eyes down on him.

"What did you just say? Francis Gage, you are not half a man. Just because your legs ain't working right temporarily, you are just giving up aren't you? Well I won't let you pal. You can yell at me as much as you want, you can throw things and you can even cry, but I won't leave you, never Gage." she ended, tears steaming down her face like tiny waterfalls. Gage couldn't stop staring at them, while a little voice in his head constantly said to him, "That's your fault. You can only make her cry. Just let her go, she'll be happy…"

Turning his eyes to his lap he just shook his head. "Syd, just go okay? I really want to be alone now. I need some sleep so I'm ready for surgery tomorrow."

Sydney saw his slumped form sitting in the chair and felt so incredibly tired, she decided to just let him have his way now. But she would be back tomorrow, well rested, and ready to win this struggle.

"Fine, but I'll be back tomorrow morning to take you to the hospital." She bent down, so she could look him in the eyes, and lifting his chin up she gave him the most gentlest kiss she had ever given him. She felt him respond to it, but when she pulled back she still saw the depressed look in his eyes. Standing up she opened his door and was starting to walk inside when she heard him cough.

"Syd, it's okay, I'll be fine. Just go now, please…" he pleaded softly. Sydney felt her heart breaking over and over again, how much could they take? She ran one hand over her belly and without looking at him she turned around and left.

Gage watched her until she was out of sight with misty eyes. He knew he had hurt her, but it was for her own good. And although it hurt him so much, he had to do it, cause if she was happy nothing else mattered.

Grabbing his wheels he slowly made his way into his living room. He was amazed by the state of the house, everything was clean and it smelled like lemony cleaning stuff. Alex must have come by and done this, he thought to himself.

Turning his chair he wheeled himself to the bedroom, hoping he would sleep a little this time. He put the stupid thing into park as close to the bed as was possible. They had practised this at the hospital, but he had yet to try it alone without a nurse watching his every move.

Putting his arms on the side of his chair he lifted himself as high as he could and almost immediately he was sitting on the bed. And after carefully positioning his legs he lay down, the action left him so exhausted he just fell asleep without even removing his clothes.

At some point in the middle of the night:

His sleep was troubled. Dreams of Sydney and torture filled his mind. One particular dream was bothering him so much he shot up in bed and without thinking he tried to get out for some water. But he had forgotten about his disability. So the moment he turned to step out of the bed, a sharp pain filled his body as he twisted it so badly he went over the edge, ending in a heap on the floor after banging his head against his nightstand.

Feeling dizzy he found he couldn't get up anymore and he just let his body lie there, letting his mind drift off so he wouldn't feel the sharp pain in his back.

And that was how Sydney found him the next morning.


	14. All by myself

Sydney hadn't had the restful night she had hoped for. Her dreams had been filled with images of Gage. And not only about his abduction, no, they were of him turning away from her and the baby. And after spending half the night tossing and turning, she finally got up and decided to get an early start. Although they weren't expected in the hospital until late afternoon, she decided to go over to Gage's apartment to see how he was doing after his first night home. She just couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling in the back of her mind, telling her to go check on him. So that's what she did, she took her prenatal vitamins, ate some breakfast and went on her way.

When she finally came to his front door, she suddenly lost her nerve. She knew what he was trying to do yesterday, and she didn't want the same thing happening today. He needed her, as much as she needed him and she had to make that clear to him. Sighing softly she straightened her shoulders and used her key to let herself in, Gage would probably still be in bed.

Walking in the small apartment she looked around. The place was dark, because of the closed curtains, so she walked over to them and opened them while enjoying the fresh morning air. Suddenly a small groan grabbed her attention, causing her to tense her body, while she turned towards the sound. When she heard it again, she realized it came from the bedroom and, thinking Gage was having a bad dream, she walked over there, slowly opening the bedroom door, as not to disturb him if he was still asleep. But what she saw, was not what she had expected…

Her partner wasn't in the bed, although his chair was there. It took her a minute before she saw where he really was. Lying next to the bed, groaning in pain!

"Gage!" she exclaimed, while hurriedly making her way towards him. His eyes were closed, but she could see he was awake, because his brow was furrowed with pain.

Squatting down beside him she gently strokes the hair from his face, discovering a large lump there.

"Gage, look at me, what happened sweetie?" she asked, keeping her voice even, although she was panicking a little, there could be damage to his back… Pushing that thought to the back of her mind, she looked him over, she couldn't see any other injuries. Gage's groan brought her attention back to his face.

"Aww, Syd? I fell…" he said, the shame evident in his voice.

"I know honey, but when did you fall? How long have you been lying here?" she asked, fearing the answer a little. He looked like he was lying there for a while now and she was worried he somehow managed to hurt his back more.

"Don't know," he answered softly, "A while I guess. Syd?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you ehh, would you help me up?" he asked, still feeling ashamed about the fact he needed her, although he had decided she was better of without him. But, seeing her worried face, he knew it would be difficult, for her as well as for him.

"Of course I'll help you. Think about who you're dealing with buddy," she said, trying to bring some brightness in the situation, "I may be pregnant, but I probably still have more muscles than you, Walker and Trivette combined."

5 Minutes later Gage was lying on the bed, back still sore, but the pain was less excruciating now. But he was a little worried about Syd, after getting him from the floor she had started sweating profoundly and she was now in his living room, resting. He sighed softly, this entire situation was starting to get better and better. Deep inside he hated himself for putting her through al this crap, and he knew she would be hurt when he left her and their child. Their child… What would she, like Syd kept calling her, think of her paralysed father. No, they would both be better of without him. He would be fine on his own. When that thought hit him, a wave of emotion came with it. It felt like being hit in the stomach. No, he was wrong, he wouldn't be fine on his own.

Running his hand across his face he put al those thoughts aside. This afternoon would decide his further future, if the surgery was a success everything would turn out great. But what if it went wrong? Luckily Syd broke his thoughts by walking in his room carrying a large tray with different kinds of food.

"Aw Syd, you didn't have to do that you know. I'm so tired, I think I'll sleep all day."

"Gage, you have to eat first, this way you have your strength, so you're ready for you surgery." she said, holding back a sigh. He could be so stubborn.

But after eating some, Gage finally fell asleep, and suddenly Syd felt so tired, she decided to just keep him company, and she laid down next to him.

She didn't know if it was out of habit, but she suddenly felt his arm snaking around her waist. She wasn't about to argue over it, so after turning her body so she was snuggled in to him she closed her eyes.

_St. Matthews hospital, that afternoon_

Walker, Trivette and Alex were all waiting in the halls of the hospital. All three of them had worry etched on their face.

"How long do you think it's going to take?" Alex asked her husband, after checking her watch.

Walker turned towards her, taking her hands in his, "I don't know honey, just don't worry, he's in good hands."

"Yeah," Trivette added, "And Syd is with him remember, she always takes care of him. She's just to stubborn to let him take the easy way out," he finished with a small wink.

"I sure hope so, those two deserve some luck by now," Alex finished, settling down in a waiting chair.

_Meanwhile…_

Gage was starting to feel drowsy. Those meds were really working fast, he thought. Blinking blurry eyes he could still make out the form of the one woman he had ever truly loved. Making up his mind, he knew he had to give her closure, no matter what happened.

"Syd?" his voice was starting to get softer, but she could still hear it.

"I know Gage, I know," she said, gently stroking his hand.

Gage started shaking his head, "No, I have to tell you. No matter what Syd, I love you," his voice getting even softer. But she still heard his last words, "No matter what…" and then he gave into the drug induced sleep and closed his eyes, hand slipping from hers.

"You'll be all right Gage, I promise you'll be all right," with that she had to leave the room, so the doctors could work. Before closing the door, she looked back one last time, tears in her eyes, sending one last prayer to the gods above, telling them to take care of her partner.

After two minutes she finally got the courage to close the door and leave him lying there. And when she had closed it she turned around. Seeing the worried faces of their friends, she could let loose and let the tears fall. Because Alex' arms were already waiting for her. And together, the four of them started to wait…


	15. Will it end here?

_A/N I am so sorry I haven't updated for sooo long, but I have been very busy with school and all. Last night I got inspired again after seeing "Without a sound" for the first time. OMG, I love that episode. From now on it will be my favorite! ;-) _

_So here is my next chapter. I know, it's pretty short, but you will be rewarded later on, cause I am working towards the grand finale... Enjoy! _

_Five hours later_

Dr. Max Evans had almost finished his rounds and was about to call it a night, when he came upon the four people waiting outside Francis Gage's room. He knew they had been there all night, and although he knew it wasn't hospital policy, he let them stay there. Inwardly he wished he had friends like that. They seemed so involved with each others lives, it was heart-warming. His gaze fell upon the dark haired female ranger. Even though she was pregnant, and even though you could see the pain and fear she was feeling, she was still radiating with strength and a small amount of certainty.

He stood there a while longer, before slowly approaching them. The dark haired ranger turned her eyes towards him as soon as she heard his footsteps.

When Sydney had heard the slow pace coming towards them, she had felt the sinking feeling return immediately. Almost as in slow-motion she turned towards the doctor who had helped them deal with things so well. During the long wait she had had some time to thinks things through and she had come to a decision. No matter what the outcome of this operation may be, she would stand by her partner, her lover, she would even go as far as calling him her soul mate. If he could walk again, she would support him throughout his rehabilitation. And if the operation didn't succeed…Well to be honest she didn't want to think about that option, but she knew, deep within her heart, she would stand by him. They could find a house together, and even though it would be hard, for both of them, she was determined to help him through it.

But all those thoughts flew out the window with the arrival of Dr. Evans. The only thing on her mind right now was Gage.

"Ranger Cooke? If you want to, you may go inside and sit with him. He won't wake up for a while, but it may be good for both of you," the doctor said with compassion in his voice.

Sydney nodded her head before getting up and entering Gage's hospital room. The other three decided to give the couple some time alone and went home to get some much needed rest. Alex laid her head to rest on Walkers shoulder, letting out a big sigh.

"You okay honey?" he asked, feeling her anxiety immediately.

"Yeah, it's just… Walker, they'll be alright, won't they? No matter what the outcome of his surgery is right?" Alex whispered with concern in her blue eyes.

Walker stopped walking and took hold of both of her shoulders. Catching her questioning and hurt look, he took her in his arms, giving her the comfort she was looking for. And while Alex buried her face in Walkers warm chest she heard him beginning to talk,

"Alex, we won't know what will happen, all we know is that our friend is alive and we will be there for him, no matter what. We just have to keep believing that things will turn out the way they are supposed to be."

"Buddy you always know how cheer us up don't you?" the voice said, coming from the dark man with the cowboy hat, who had also come to a halt a few feet away.

And with that said, the three friends left the hospital, all planning on returning later that day.

_Gage's hospital room_

Sydney started to get a feeling of déjà vu. How many times had she been in this room these past few weeks? But today she felt like something was different. It was a feeling she never had before, like she was standing on a crossroad and somehow, she knew what road to take. The feeling started in the pit of her stomach, and then very slowly, she felt it spreading. One hand went to her stomach, where her child was resting comfortably, while the other one reached for the hand of her lover. She sat down, a soothing calm coming over her. And so she waited, ready to take on the world.


	16. Live by the minute

**A/N OMG, I had no idea this story was going to be sooo long. Well, like I said before, I'm working towards the grande finale **

**I just want to thank you for all of your reviews! Especially Audra (Space case) and sn855850 who review every single chapter! It keeps me writing. Ow, and I am sorry for the cliffhanger, but hey... You know me, I just have to do it, I can't help myself... On to the story, Enjoy!  
**

_A few hours later_

A small movement from the white hospital bed made Sydney sit up straight. The hand which was in her smaller hand softly constricted around hers, while the man in the hospital bed seemed in a small fight into consciousness. Sydney returned the small clutching, giving Gage the comfort he so desperately seemed to need. She began talking to him in a soothing voice, bringing him back to reality…

"It's okay sweetie, you're alright. Everything will be fine, you just have to wake up. Come on honey, just open your eyes. That's it, come back to me" she pleaded, all the while Gage was fighting his way to the surface. And finally, she saw one eye crack open, and not long after, the other beautiful bright blue orb appeared.

Gage felt like his head would split open at any minute, but after he could focus a little on the person sitting next to him, he forced himself to keep it at bay.

"Hi", he sleepily said, making Sydney smile for the first time in a while.

"Hi there", she answered back, the cheeriness still in her voice.

With a head full of cotton Gage felt like he had forgotten something important. But he couldn't figure out what it was.

"Hey Syd? Why am I here?" he asked, uncertainty tainting his sleep filled voice. But as soon as the question flew from his mouth, and after he saw Sydney's expression fall, he knew why.

Looking at his legs, which were braced in from his back to his toes, he suddenly gave a low pain filled grunt.

"A damn", he uttered while falling back into the white pillow.

"What's wrong Gage?" Sydney's worried voice rang through his head, where the wheels seemed to be spinning so loud he almost didn't hear her.

"My leg really hurts", came the soft reply.

Silence filled the room for 10 agonizing seconds, and all of a sudden Gage's eyes flew open. He looked straight into the huge brown eyes of Sydney, who was now smiling a smile so bright, he felt like he was being blinded.

"My leg hurts", he repeated a little louder, "Syd, my leg hurts, I feel something!"

A loud whoop filled the small hospital room, while Sydney flung herself in the strong arms of her partner. Tears of joy flowed from her eyes, creating a large wet spot on Gage's hospital gown. But he didn't care, for the same tears had squeezed their way out of his eyes too.

"I feel them Syd, I feel them…" he kept repeating, until the tiredness overwhelmed him and sleep took over his recuperating body. Sydney felt his grip softening, but she kept holding on, burying herself in his chest, relishing in the movement of his chest going up and down, up and down… with each and every breath. And after a while, the steady rhythm of his breathing lulled her into a much needed restful sleep.

_Five days later_

"So, I can go home?" the question was asked in a voice so full of hope, dr. Evans couldn't help but smile a little. This man had made a speedy recovery, probably due to his despise of hospitals, the doctor thought, an imaginary grin spreading itself through his mind. If all patients who hated the hospital healed up so soon, he would be out of a job…

At the sound of the annoyed young man, he turned his attention to the ranger lying in the hospital bed. The ranger who, with the proper care, could go home soon.

"Well, you will need to come back for your physical therapy twice a week, but yes, you can go home ranger Gage."

A huge smile broke through on Gage's face, lighting up his eyes in a way they hadn't lit up in a long time.

"I can go home," he repeated, making Syd, who was standing next to him, smile.

"We can go home," she said, and two pairs of eyes found each other, gazing into each other. Both seeing the love one held for another. When they heard a cough and looked up, the doctor had already disappeared, making room for three friends and colleagues, who were all wearing amused faces. Walker took the lead, stating what they all could see, "So, you will be going home soon, Gage?"

Gage, with the excited look of a five year old in his eyes, nodded his head, making Alex giggle and Trivette shaking his head.

"Buddy, you have got to teach me how to do that. You made a deal with one of those cute nurses right?" he asked, winking at the bedridden ranger, and getting a scornful look from Sydney.

"Nope, just had the good old doctor here, telling me I could go home. But I think the flirting paid off big time…" he added jokingly, while stealing a glance at Sydney who was looking at him seriously. Suddenly all eyes were on her, suspense hanging in the air while they waited for her reaction.

After a few seconds, she took her eyes off of Gage and turned towards her growing belly. Whispering, just loud enough so they could hear her, she said, " Don't worry little one, your daddy just doesn't know any better. But we'll train him, don't you worry. He'll be like wax in our hands…"

Gage's eyes had turned wide, during her little speech. But when Sydney looked up from her belly, they could all see the lights dancing in her eyes, and joyous laughter could be heard from room 285.

The following weeks were filled with happiness, hard work, and a few set backs. Gage's therapy went well, and he could almost walk on his own now. Sydney's stomach got bigger and bigger, but they both enjoyed the time they spent together. At their last doctors appointment, they had made a sonogram, and after seeing their child, thumb safely tucked in her mouth, they both had tears in their eyes. With entangled hands, Sydney had turned towards him, bottom lip quivering.

"We're really here, are we?" she had asked him, the disbelieving tone in her voice made him shiver.

"Yeah Syd we're really here, why do you ask?"

Sydney bit her lip, trying to find words to express how she felt at this very moment.

"After all that's happened, the baby, your disappearance, the whole hospital situation… It's just… It seems surreal that we are finally here, where we need to be, and where we want to be, just…" she was silent for a minute, looking for the right word, "happy."

Gage opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Sydney, who was now staring into space, a worrisome look in her eyes.

"And I know I should just _be _happy. But I've got this feeling. Like my whole being is just waiting for the next disaster to strike."

"Honey-," Gage started.

"Gage, I know, it's ridiculous, but it's there and I can't seem to stop it." she sighed, letting her eyes rest on a picture on their entangled hands.

Gage watched her. Seeing how hollow her cheeks still were, he saw how much all of this had effected her. But he also knew they had to look forward, and not linger in the past. He had spent many, many nights doing that, spending long hours thinking about all that had gone wrong and how things could get worse. Knowing how this could eat a person alive, he didn't want his fiancé to do the same thing. Taking her hands even firmer he started talking,

"Then don't."

Sydney turned her head, looking into his blue eyes, seeing the love and devotion in them. Gage saw the confusion in hers, and decided to continue.

"Syd, you have to let things happen. You can't stop them from happening so it won't help if you worry about them. Just be happy, enjoy the moments. Cause those moments? They don't come back. If something happens tomorrow, we were happy today. You know what I mean?"

A smile made its way to her face, and the burden she had been carrying felt like a feather now. Looking at the picture of their little girl, firmly settles inside her belly, a funny look came upon her face.

"You know what Gage? I never saw you as the philosophical one…"

The look Gage gave her, made her brake out in laughter, and it sounded like music to his ears. It had been so long since he heard that specific laugh. It was free and careless, but most of all it sounded of joy. And he willingly joined her.

After that appointment things changed a little. They still enjoyed their time together, but they paid more attention to the little things. During that time, Sydney became more and more bound to the house everyday. But Gage always found ways to entertain her, and if he wasn't there, Alex, Walker or Trivette would be her entertainment.

Things went back to normal, and they felt as happy as they could be.

That is, until one morning, in the seventh month of her pregnancy, Sydney woke up to bloody sheets and a searing pain in her stomach…


	17. When morning comes

The smell of bacon was filling the house, as Gage was busy cooking breakfast, hobbling through the kitchen on still unsteady feat. Sydney had been fast asleep when he had shot up in bed, wide awake after one of the few nightmares he still had. So he had decided to just make the most of it and start the day early, with a good hearty breakfast.

He had just finished with pouring some juice for him and Syd when a pain filled scream flowed from the stairs into the kitchen.

Two glasses shattered on the kitchen floor as Gage quickly grabbed his cane and made his way upstairs as fast as his healing body could take him. The stairs still proved to be a difficulty for him as he desperately grabbed on to the railing, every time his legs wanted to tumble out beneath him.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he reached the final step, and only one door separated him from his goal. Pain filled groans seemed to keep coming from behind the closed door and Gage pushed himself to his limit, stumbling towards the door, desperation filling his entire being. Out of breath, and with fear flowing through his veins, he called out to her.

"Syd, I'm coming, I'm coming Syd", adding softly, "please be alright…"

He opened the door, but nothing could have prepared him for the sight which met his eyes.

She had curled up into a ball, soft whimpers emanating from her. Blood had stained the sheets all over, leaving ugly forms on the once white sheets.

Gage had stood there, frozen for what seemed like an eternity, but what was actually a few seconds. Grabbing the phone on his way over to her, he knelt besides her. And while one hand went to her head, stroking the sweaty strands behind her ears, the other hand dialled familiar numbers on the phone.

"Gage, the baby, I can't loose the baby. It hurts so much… I can't-" her voice died out as a sharp pain travelled through her lower back.

Putting away the phone Gage turned back to her, fear clearly visible in his eyes. "Shhh, it's going to be okay sweetie, everything will be fine. I just have to get you to the hospital, they are waiting for us…"

A confused look flew over Sydney's pain filled face, "Gage, you- you can't drive yet, what about the ambulance?"

Gage lowered his look, this was just their luck, "Syd, they can't send one, there was a huge accident downtown, and they need all of them there. But it will be fine, I can take you, you will be fine… We will be fine." he said, not only trying to convince her, but himself too.

Seeing the pain filled grimace on her face, Gage jumped into action, not wanting to waste another second. Bending over, he took her in his arms shrugging off the bloodied sheets as he made his way to the stairwell.

It took al Sydney's willpower not to scream at the sudden movements, but as soon as he had a good hold on her, she curled up again as much as possible and buried her face deep within his chest, still whimpering softly.

At the same time, Gage bit the inside of his cheek, willing his legs to carry them both to the stairs and further. Slowly he made his way down each and every step, ignoring the lingering pain in his back, holding his precious load tightly in his arms. When he reached the wooden floor, he was panting hard, while sweat slowly dripped down his back. But what scared him the most was the blood steadily dripping down his front. As he opened the door with one swift movement, he felt her body stiffening at the movement.

"I'm sorry Syd, we're almost there, I promise." he softly whispered, meanwhile opening the passengers door and putting her in slowly. When he was sure she was at least a little bit comfortable, he closed the door and limped over to the other side and got behind the wheel.

Although he hadn't driven since his assignment, he found his feet doing the job just fine. They reached the hospital in record time, and with screeching tires Gage stopped the car in front of the entrance where two nurses and a gurney were already waiting for them.

From that moment on everything happened so fast Gage couldn't keep up anymore. Sydney was now unconscious and was being wheeled inside so fast, Gage couldn't keep up with them. Nevertheless he followed them, using the adrenaline still pumping through his body, and only when a doctor stopped him cause he couldn't go any further, he stopped dead in his tracks. Suddenly all the adrenaline, which had kept him upright during the whole ordeal, left his body and he sagged down in one of the chairs standing there. Looking down at himself he saw the dried blood on his shirt and pants and suddenly the whole situation hit home. Fear for Sydney and the baby were consuming him. She was almost in her eighth month, what would happen if the baby was born now? Would she live? Would Syd be alright? All these questions were running thought his mind, over and over again, until they all blended together into a noise so loud, Gage had the urge to cover his ears with his hands. Putting his head in his hands he put all the thoughts to a stop by just cutting himself off. And so he waited, mind blank, preparing for what lay ahead.

_5 Hours later…_

Still sitting in the same place, Gage felt like he had been sitting there for days, but it had only been five hours until a doctor came to see him.

"Mr. Gage?" he asked.

Gage hadn't noticed the doctor until he said his name, and his head shot up, eyes pleading for good news.

"How is she? Is she alright?" The questions flowed from his mouth before he could stop himself. But after seeing the look on the doctors face, he almost regretted asking him.

"Please, follow me, we'll talk in my office," he said, while turning and walking to his office, expecting Gage to follow him. And so he did.

After arriving in the small office, Gage hesitantly took a seat.


	18. Bye bye baby

After arriving in the small office, Gage hesitantly took a seat.

"Mr. Gage, you're wife is fine. She is now in recovery, and will be able to go home within a week."

Gage sighed deeply, a lot of tension leaving his body. But one thing wasn't mentioned, "the baby?"

"We don't know why, but somehow her water broke and her contractions had started. She was also loosing great amounts of blood, so we couldn't stop the process of this labour. Mr. Gage, we had to deliver the baby."

The great relief he had felt just seconds ago was yet again replaced my great amounts of fear. Their baby had been born… "Is she- she, uhh-"

"She is premature, but alive. You have to understand that her situation is extremely critical. Your wife was in her 30th week and at that point, the baby has developed itself very far. But unfortunately, not far enough."

Gage's eyes widened as he held his breath for what would come next.

"Will she ehh, will she… will she live?"

The deep lines on the weathered doctors face deepened even more. Sometimes he hated being the bearer of this kind of news.

"For now, she is stable, but critical. Her lungs aren't completely developed yet, and because of that, she is suffering from Respiratory distress syndrome. Immediately after she was born, we had to resuscitate her and we have now inserted a breathing tube, to help her learn to breathe. Also, we have inserted a feeding tube into her stomach, because she is unable to coordinate her sucking and swallowing. For now, we have placed her in an incubator at the neonatal intensive care unit, where we can control and regulate her body temperature."

After this flow of words, Gage was silent for a minute, letting the news penetrate his already jumbled mind. He had so many questions flowing through his head, he didn't know where to start. But one of them found its way to his mouth, the one his heart needed to be answered…

"Can I see her?"

A slow nod from the doctor was all he needed, and he slowly got up from the hard chair he had been sitting on. He felt like he had aged ten years in these past few hours, when his sore muscles made themselves known, in a very painful way.

In a slow pace he followed the doctor towards the NICU, and after getting a change of clothes from one of the nurses, he was about to enter the room where his daughter was.

His daughter… He was astounded for one moment, tasting the word in his mouth, surprised by how natural it felt. The small cough from the doctor brings him back to the present, seeing through the now open door, five small incubators, all attached to many machines, and all of them had the tiniest of children inside. Like a magnet he was drawn towards one tiny baby, so small, and yet so beautiful.

The doctor smiled, before wondering how each and every parent always found their way towards the right child. He silently stood by the wall, observing the scene.

Putting his hand on one of the glass walls, which separated him from the tiny infant, Gage couldn't stop staring at the little baby. 'Baby', they hadn't even decided on a name yet, the card on the incubator only said "Baby Gage".

A small sigh escaped Gage's constricted throat, while he just kept staring at baby Gage. A feeling of dread came over him when he saw how tubes were attached to their child. She lay perfectly still, her little fingers constricting every now and then, while her little pink chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. Bright blue eyes, opened in tiny slits, were staring at the small world around her and Gage was a little surprised by the big dot of brown hair on top of her head.

He felt like he had stood there just a second, when the doctor stepped up to him and told him Sydney was awake and asking for him. That brought him back to reality a little, but he still felt like everything around him was filled with fuzz and cotton, leaving him in a dazed state. With one last look at the smallest, but most beautiful baby he had ever seen, he turned to follow the doctor, yet again, but this time to see S.yd.

After a short walk through the cold hospital hallway, the doctor showed him to Sydney's room. Looking inside, he could already see her sitting up in the middle of the bed in her hospital gown, blankets falling around her. She looked like a small child, deathly afraid of the unknown demons hiding in the dark closet. Her big brown eyes seemed to bee empty, staring into space, but the fear radiating from them hit Gage like a punch in the gut would do.

Deciding he could no longer keep her waiting for news about their daughter, he softly rapped on the door before entering. After grabbing a chair and sitting down closely to the bed, he finally noticed she hadn't even moved a muscle or acknowledged he was there…

Looking up, searching for her eyes, he still saw the same expression in them, a vacant look filled the eyes which usually were so full of joy and life.

"Syd? I'm here, Syd, it's okay, she's okay…" he pleaded with a soft voice, but she almost seemed catatonic.

When he touched her arm though, she visibly flinched against his touch, turning her face the other way in an almost shameful manner. And then, ever so softly, he heard a soft whimper coming from behind her tightly pursed lips, followed by a waterfall of words,

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry I couldn't do it. I never wanted to loose her, I- I wanted to see her, feel her, love her…" a sob broke through her rambling, shaking her tiny frame, "and- and now she's gone, and we never knew her-"

"I know her," although spoken softly, it stopped her rambling and questioning eyes, overflowing with tears, turned towards his clear blue ones, filled with a calm soothing look. A small smile played around his lips, and when Sydney didn't respond right away, he started explaining.

"She made it, Syd. She's so small, and they are helping her breath, but she's alive. And Syd, she is so beautiful. She has your mouth and your hair, but most important… She's ours."

During his speech he saw her expression change from grief-stricken to a great amount of relief, to pure joy. Her whole demeanour changed, and her spirit seemed lighter then ten seconds ago. A small twinkle now rested in the corner of her eye.

"She- she's alive? But how, I was only seven or eight months along?" Amazement seeped through her joy-filled voice.

"I don't know all the details Syd, but they have to feed her and she is getting air through a small tube, and she is so tiny, she could fit in my hand, but she is alive," he said, putting his hand in her open one.

And that little show of affection was al she needed, before crashing in his arms, even though her body was still sore. The crying sounds, now sounded lighter, and Gage felt relieved he was able to resolve this crisis, even though he knew there was a long way ahead of them.

And through the sobbing, he heard her say the words he was waiting for,

"Can I see her?"


	19. Daddy can you see me

**_A/N I am so sorry it took me soooo long to get this up, but real life came knocking on my door... But now I'm having one entire weekend to write, and I'm making the most of it, which means, updating this story! My other story, Coming home, is temporarily on hold, and I'll start working on it once I finish this one. And I can tell you, the end is near... I am a little sad about it, cause personally I love this story. It wasn't even supposed to be this long, but I just loved writing it. So I just kept thinking of new things to throw at our favourite couple. However, I can promise you one or two final chapters and that will be it. _**

_**Well, I will stop ranting now and let you get on to the story. Enjoy!**_

Walker and Alex silently walked through the eerily silent halls of the hospital. The sounds of their footsteps were the only sounds that could be heard this early and it made the usually buzzing halls seem empty.

Both were looking straight forward, not revealing any emotion at all. But the hands that were tightly formed around each other, told another story.

As if there was an unspoken agreement, both of them stopped instantly when they came by a sign saying 'ICU-paediatrics'. With still tightly intertwined hands they stood before the large window, and watched the two people who were inside.

After a long silence, Alex was the first to speak with a choked voice.

"Haven't they been through enough?"

Walker looked at his wife, seeing how this whole situation affected her. Seeing what Gage must see when he looks at Sydney. He thought about his daughter, how she had come to this world, and how happy he was when he found out she was healthy. He watched two of his best rangers stand before a little cubicle, where a dot of pink and black could be seen from where he was standing.

And he silently tightened his grip on Alex' hand. Not saying a word, but meanwhile saying everything.

_Inside the ICU_

Silent tears streamed down Sydney's face, leaving watery marks on her cheeks. Red and puffy eyes looked up towards the man standing next to her, giving him a small smile. She couldn't believe the tiny child in front of her was actually alive. But most of all, she couldn't believe she was theirs. Slowly lifting her arm from the armrest, provided by the wheelchair she was sitting in, she put one hand on the warm glass which was separating her from her baby.

"She's so small…"

Gage looked down, putting his hand on top of hers letting both of them rest onto the glass.

"I know. But she'll grow, and believe me Syd, one day she's gonna be taller than you," he added softly, with a hint of his old self.

A small smile tugged at Sydney's lips when she responded, "Yeah, is that when you'll start chasing away her boyfriends with a broomstick?"

A soft snort was his only reaction, cause the doctor chose that moment to come and talk to the both of them. Sydney didn't waste a second before asking what was on her mind.

"Will she make it?"

Eyeing the young couple, the doctor was relieved he would be the one to bring them the latest update on their child. And even if there was a chance of her not making it, good news always boosted the spirits of new parents.

"Well," he started, "She made it through the night, something we hadn't expected."

Sydney gasped a little, this made the entire situation so much more real.

The doctor continued, "This means she's strong. She hasn't fought of the ventilator, so if we keep this up for the next weeks, there is a fairly good chance she'll make it and have a chance on a normal life. But until she has reached a body weight of about 5 pounds, she will have to stay here."

This new information seemed to lift the spirits of the couple a bit, and there stances seemed lighter right away. The doctor saw this, and decided to warn them.

"There still is a chance of infection, we have to be really careful, and there is also a slight chance that she will stop breathing. Her lungs are developing themselves as we speak. So the next week will be touch or go."

And with that his pager went of and the doctor hurriedly left the room, leaving Sydney and Gage to ponder on his words. Gage was the one to break the silence, after casting a long look at their little girl who was still breathing, still fighting.

"Briana."

Sydney looked up at him, a questioning look in her deep brown eyes, urging Gage to continue.

"Briana Gage," he added, earning a loving look from Sydney.

"I love it, but why Briana?"

Gage looked at her, a lump in his throat making it hard for him to speak. Looking at their little one, fighting for her life, with more strength than he had ever seen, the name had came to him. And ever so softly Sydney heard him say,

"It means strong…"

Turning her look back at their hands, still positioned on the glass, covering each other, she pulled hers back and took his.

And without words she squeezed it softly while they both turned towards their daughter, watching Briana fight.

After a long time, they simultaneously turned to fill in their waiting friends.

_Outside the ICU_

Two figures still stood, silently watching what was going on inside. Meanwhile, two others had come in, just as silent they had taken a seat behind the other couple.

Ranger Jimmy Trivette hated waiting. He hated it even more when he had to wait in a hospital, while a person he knew, or wanted to know, was fighting for their life. But here he was, together with his wife, waiting for news on the newest addition of the Texas Rangers.

Four heads shot up when the door to the large room opened, revealing two ragged looking Rangers. Gage rolled Sydney out slowly, and both of them eyed the tight group of friends who had gathered there, for them, for their child, with solemn looks.

After a full minute of silence, of silent encouragement, of soulful understanding, one voice spoke up. It was soft and it was female. It was Sydney.

"Guys, we want you to meet Briana Gage…"


	20. I'm coming home

_**A/N Well, here it is... The final part of the story. I can't believe I hadn't updated this story for sooo long, but a severe case of writersblock totally claimed my mind. I always have trouble finishing up stories, probably because I really don't want them to end. And yet, here it is: the ending. I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it. Thanks for Reading and Reviewing it guys! And for the final time: enjoy!**_

_St. Matthews hospital_

The following days went by very slowly. Gage and Sydney were now situated in the hospital every waking moment. Sydney was still there as a patient, but Gage had gotten a cot from the nurses, so he could stay in Syd's room.

The condition of their daughter had been stable the past few days, and that was a good sign. However, her condition hadn't improved either. So the tension was still sensible in the clinical hospital air. They were just on their way to go see her, when all of a sudden nurses flew by, pushing several carts in he direction Gage and Syd were going. Looking up at each other, they both felt the same chill running up their spine, and together they rushed as fast as they could to were their daughter should be.

A doctor stopped them when they were about to enter the small room were all the commotion came from. They both turned frantic eyes up at the young doctor.

"Sir, Ma'am, you can't go in right now…"

Sydney straightened herself up, making the doctor take a slight step back as a fire spread itself through her veins, protectiveness for her daughter making itself known in a way she had never felt before.

"Our baby! Is she alright?" she asked, and even though she knew her attitude made her look though, her voice came out shaky and her legs didn't seem to cooperate all that well. She felt Gage's hand snake around her waste, as to give her the moral support she needed. Probably even the moral support he needed.

"They are doing everything they can, and we will have to wait now. We will let you in as soon as we can," he nervously said before entering the room himself. As he opened the door, Gage and Sydney could just make out their daughters little crib, with doctors poking their hands through, pressing her chest with small movements, machines everywhere.

As the door closed again, Sydney buried her face in Gage's shoulder as he laid his head on hers. They kept that position for a while, but when the door opened after what seemed like forever, they both shot up, only one question on their minds.

"Is she… is she okay?" Gage asked, his voice sounding shrill even in his own ears.

The elder doctor had a sympathetic look in his eyes, and he knew that these new parents wouldn't rest before they knew what happened to their little girl.

"She's alive, for now. Somehow her chest tube got loose and we had to resuscitate her. We don't believe the oxygen shortage did any damage, so we are optimistic." he ended, seeing the relief in the eyes of these two people.

"So, she'll be alright?" Sydney asked, needing the confirmation from this man, the man who held her daughters life in his hands.

"Yes, we believe she will pull through. You have one strong kid, rangers," he added, smiling a little as he saw the parental pride appear in four eyes at the same time.

Gage looked down at his partner, eyes shining with unshed tears, "You hear that Syd? We have one strong kid, and she'll make it."

All Sydney could do was nod, before letting herself fall in Gage's arms, crying her eyes out. She cried for Gage, for all they had been through, for his recovery, for her pregnancy and for her baby. Her little fighter. Their little fighter.

_2 Weeks later_

Their fighter… She had fought until they saw her struggle with the breathing tube, eager to get that thing out. She had fought, folding her little fingers around the feeding tube, making swallowing sounds until they could feed her themselves. She had fought, until the day they could take her home.

She now weighed 5 pounds, still small en tiny, but she was there. She was alive and she showed it. Her cries had become louder, but Sydney and Gage didn't care, they loved the sound of her loud wails just as much as they loved her soft gurgles.

_Sydney's apartment_

"You sure about this shorty?" Gage asked, joy evident in his voice.

"Yeah, you already stayed here after your surgeries. Let's make it permanent. And by the way, mine is bigger…" she said grinning at him like a fool. An amused burp could be heard coming from the stroller, which stood between them.

Gage laughed, "I can see I'm being overruled already," he sighed dramatically.

"Gage, didn't Walker say he had to work on that big case he and Trivette were handling?" she asked, stopping all of a sudden.

Gage looked confused, scratching his head he turned to where Syd was looking, "Ehh, yeah, I guess, why?"

"Well, because his truck is standing right over there, right alongside Jimmy's convertible…" she let the sentence drift off. A twinkle sparkled in her eyes as she saw the same on in Gage's.

"Let's go inside, and see what they cooked up for us," he said while taking the lead an pushed Briana along, earning himself a bright smile from the tiny infant as well as an exited yell.

"Looks like she's got your lungs Syd," he teasingly said before slowly opening the door.

"SURPRISE!"

The four people standing in the middle of the room exclaimed happily. The small living room was decorated with pink balloons, ribbons and other decoration. A huge pink cake stood in the middle of the dining room table waiting to be cut.

"Awww you guys, you shouldn't have!" Sydney said, hugging each and every one of their friends.

"But we wanted to!" Alex filled her in joyfully. Let's go, we've still got a few presents you haven't unpacked yet," she said while dragging Sydney to the other side of the room where Erica was sitting in the middle of an incredible amount of presents.

Gage watched with amusement as the guys fretted over Briana. She was loving the attention, smiling to each of the men, who were now arguing over who she was smiling at.

"Guys, guys, let's make this official," Gage said, taking Briana out of her comfortable seat. Holding her up, he looked at her, and the second she saw her dad, a shattering smile appeared on her face, brightening the room.

"We have a winner," Trivette announced, clapping Gage carefully on the back. And while the men admired the baby girl and talked about the latest football game with Gage, and while Sydney was unwrapping presents, their eyes met. A static current seemed to take hold of both their bodies, as unspoken promises were made, at that very moment. There would be no more without. The certainness of that was overwhelming. From now on, there were two, who became one. And together with their baby girl their future looked bright and shiny, with each other…

THE END


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